Here it is, one week left. Next Monday morning, bright and early, I'll be driving away from the house I grew up in, with my mom at the wheel, and heading to the airport to meet the group of people I'll spend the next two months with, in a totally foreign country. And between now and then, it seems I still need to do so many things. Ok, so it's probably not thaat many things. But it seems like for every one thing I accomplish, three more pop up that need my attention. And come tomorrow, all of those things will be staring me in the face when I return to my mom's after four days of blissful irresponsibility spent with my little sister. Maybe irresponsibility isn't the right word - more like lack of any responsibilities. I got to follow her around at work for a day, sleep in late the next, get late-night Chinese takeout from the Wonderful Dragon around the corner... and just put on the back burner for a few days the fact that I am embarking in a week on the scariest and most exciting adventure of my life.
What's killing me the most right now is the waiting, and the not knowing. I think (I tell myself) that when I'm actually there, the anxiety will ease, or at least alter, once I can see what my surroundings really will be, once I see with my own eyes what life will be like there. But for now, all of the unknown is weighing on me, coupled with the cumulative effect of the waiting after waiting after more waiting that started when I filled in the first blank of the 18-page online application last April, ten months ago. I may not be packed yet, but I'm ready to stop waiting, and start doing.
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Alexis,
There is always anxiety in life, even in something as trivial as what to bring to a summer picnic:-)
That is what reminds us we are alive, that bit of worry. But you will be fine; more than that, you will be living a dream, one with all your family cheering you in the background, the same family that will welcome you home. xo dad
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