structural weaknesses.

I have a strange feeling that last night I dreamt I was filing my Oregon tax return. It is one of the things I still need to do before I leave the country, but I wish my subconscious would choose other aspects of my life to filter through my REM sleep. My brain has been in overdrive these past few weeks, and even at night I haven't been resting well.

There is something oddly comforting in the structure of taxes, though - rules to follow, steps to take, forms to fill out, a specific deadline. Maybe I'm just weird, or it could be a deeper desire for something certain and tangible in a time when for me, everything seems uncertain, and abstract. I can do a few additions and subtractions, fill in this line, ignore that one, and figure out how much money I made last year, and how much I owe. Nothing seems quite so straightforward, however, about what I'm about to do.

I'm down to two days left at work, and it's been tough containing my almost giddy level of excitement today. This morning before breakfast I called to make my flight reservation to get to staging, which I found out on Monday will be in Atlanta, March 10 - 12 (we fly to Dakar the night of the 12th). I spoke with a jovial fellow who asked me if I was with the group going to El Salvador or Senegal, and by the time I got off the phone, having confirmed my reservation for 7:30 am that Monday morning, window seat and all, I was practically bouncing up and down.
Airlines. Flight numbers. Seat assignments. Every detail brings me closer to the reality of going.